Living authentically: how to be true to yourself

"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." — Brené Brown

As we go through life, authenticity takes centre stage for some but less often for others. For those who drift away from who they are, it can be circumstances, adjusting to fit the environment, peer pressure or simply choosing to wear a mask for fear of being judged. While this might be useful in certain situations, long-term living a life where you are not yourself can have negative consequences. On the other hand, being true to oneself fosters self-acceptance, personal happiness, and fulfilment. Let's delve into the importance of living an authentic life and being true to yourself.

What does authenticity mean?

Authenticity refers to the alignment of your actions with your internal values and beliefs. It involves not just knowing, but accepting who you are at your core. It is considered an anchor of one's identity and a crucial determinant of a fulfilling life. However, many people often confuse the term 'authenticity' with simply being honest with oneself.

The core essence of authenticity

Authenticity is about maintaining consistency between your internal beliefs, values, attitudes, and your external behaviours. This congruence enables you to live in harmony with yourself. It is about accepting both your strengths and your weaknesses. Genuine self-realisation is at the core of authenticity. It's about recognising and honouring your intrinsic nature and expressing it outwardly.

Applying authenticity in daily life

Authenticity is reflected in everyday actions. For example, pursuing a career not because of prestige or money, but because it aligns with your interests and values, is an aspect of authenticity. It also entails standing up for what you believe in, even if your stance goes against the tide. Authenticity demands courage to uphold your values amidst dissent.

The tangible benefits of authenticity

1. Personal fulfilment: there's a great joy that comes from living a life that feels true to yourself. It confers a sense of purpose, satisfaction, and contentment.
2. Better decision making: when your actions are in alignment with your beliefs, decision-making becomes less stressful and more intuitive.
3. Credibility & trust: people are inclined to trust and respect those who are true to themselves and their values.

How to cultivate authenticity

1. Self-reflection: spend time exploring your values, beliefs, motivations, and passions. Understanding oneself is the first step towards authenticity.
2. Courage: authenticity requires the courage to be true to your values, even when they're unpopular or challenging.
3. Continued growth: being authentic means accepting yourself as a work in progress, continuously learning and evolving.

The role of self-reflection

Self-reflection entails spending time alone to analyse and understand your thoughts, feelings, motivations, values, and beliefs. It essentially provides a mirror for viewing your internal self, separating the truth from illusion or misconception. It leads to the development of self-awareness, an internal acknowledgement of who you are, what you're passionate about, how you perceive the world, react to situations, and why you make certain choices.

Self-reflection leads you to discover your true self and allows you to identify misalignments between your actions or decisions and your values. It ignites a positive reinforcing cycle where self-acceptance builds confidence which encourages authenticity.

How do you cultivate self-reflection?

• Solitude: take out time from your schedule for solitary introspection. Silence and solitude often serve as the best facilitators of self-reflection.
• Journaling: writing down your thoughts, feelings, goals, and dreams can provide insights into your inner psyche. Journals act as a tangible record of your journey towards self-discovery and subsequently, authenticity.
• Meditation and mindfulness: practices like meditation and mindfulness improve focus and provide access to deeper layers of consciousness, aiding self-reflection.

An old saying attributed to Aristotle says "Knowing oneself is the beginning of all wisdom." Self-reflection is the stepping stone to knowing oneself and therefore, a gateway to leading an authentic life.

Courage and authenticity

• Walk your path: courage serves as a gentle fortitude that empowers you to consistently align with your personal values and individual beliefs, even amidst societal influences. It's the quiet strength that keeps you anchored to your truth, finding peace in your unique standpoint even when it diverges from the common consensus.
• Weather the storm: at times, remaining true to yourself might lead to differing opinions, criticism, or even setbacks. Courage isn't about confrontation; instead, it gently instils resilience within you to embrace these instances as part of your journey towards authenticity, reassuring you that it's okay to not always fit the mould.
• Cherish individuality: courage is also about recognising and celebrating the diversity of human nature. It imbues you with the confidence to share your genuine thoughts, values, and passions comfortably and proudly, acknowledging that they make you who you are — an entity distinct from everyone else, loved for your uniqueness.

Instead of putting up a fight, courage in authenticity encourages you to comprehend your nature, accept it, honour it, and be in the world with it. As American author and speaker Brené Brown beautifully put it, "Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen."

The continued growth mindset

This concept revolves around the understanding that we're never done growing. It acknowledges that there's always more to learn, and every experience, whether positive or negative, holds a lesson. It's an attitude that empowers us to see potential and possibilities rather than limitations.

How do we cultivate it?

We need to develop a curiosity for learning. This means we must actively nurture an inquisitive mind. Engage in voracious reading, explore diverse subjects of interest, and attend workshops, seminars, or online courses.

Nothing comes easy and the ability to reframe challenges is paramount. Take difficulties as a chance to grow. Try to figure out what they can teach you and how they can contribute to your personal and professional development.

Resilience in the face of failure. Redefine your perspective on not succeeding in what you tried. Recognise that it's not a dead-end, but a detour guiding you towards the correct path. Reflect on your mistakes and learn from them.

You can achieve this by practising self-reflection. Engage in frequent introspection. Assess your growth, recognise your accomplishments, and identify areas that need improvement.

Seek feedback. Feedback from others can provide valuable insights into your growth areas. It allows you to identify blind spots and work on them.

When embraced, a mindset of continued growth can significantly enhance personal development and pave the way towards becoming an authentic individual.

Authenticity and the power of an internal compass

Authentic individuals are guided by their unique internal compass, not influenced or swayed by external standards or expectations. What does that mean?

The term "internal compass" is a figurative way of expressing one's unique set of values, principles, passion, intuition, and sense of self. This compass guides authentic individuals in their choices and actions across life's journey. Unlike a geographical compass that points to the magnetic North, the internal compass points toward the "authentic self", aligning decisions and actions with intrinsic values and principles.

The interplay of the internal compass and authenticity

Authenticity is all about staying true to your unique internal compass. It requires you to make choices that resonate with your inner values and beliefs, even when these choices may be harder to make. Sometimes it requires making a conscious effort to not change your colours just to blend in with the crowd. Being authentic is not a call to anarchism or to reject accepted society but rather a call to enrich the fibre of society itself by adding your point of view to its canvas of diversity.

We can often struggle to balance external struggles and expectations which at times can create pressure, causing one to drift away from our authentic self. While achieving that balance and making a choice can be difficult, understanding these external influences and being able to navigate them while retaining your genuine self-expression and being is necessary to live an authentic life.

Thriving in authenticity

By continually engaging in self-reflection, you recognise and honour your internal compass. Being in touch with yourself allows you to strengthen your intuition and embrace your uniqueness, letting it come through your actions, words, and creations.

An authentic life is not necessarily an easy path but it is deeply rewarding, providing a genuine sense of satisfaction and inner peace that come from being true to oneself.

So what do you need to take the first steps?

1. Self-awareness: spend some quality time with yourself. Understand your strengths, weaknesses, emotions, principles, and values.
2. Self-acceptance: accept yourself for who you are. Embrace your individuality and quirks.
3. Be vulnerable: it's okay to display weakness or not to know everything. It's a part of being human. Show the world your real self, and let it reveal itself back to you.
4. Practice integrity: live by your values and beliefs, even when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient. Engage in communication to convey your point of view, and be open to others' perspectives just as you wish for them to understand yours.
5. Choose your environment: to help yourself on the path of self-truth and self-expression, choose an environment that is understanding, supportive, and composed of individuals or institutions that celebrate diversity.

Once you have chosen to understand and improve your authentic self, walk the walk, and see the lamp posts of an authentic life emerge.

The rewards of authenticity

• Personal realisation & growth: authenticity paves the way for self-discovery and growth. By spending time introspecting, we understand ourselves better, helping us make decisions that align with our values.
• Improved relationships: honesty breeds trust, and authenticity is about being true to yourself and others. Authentic individuals can form deeper and more meaningful connections.
• Increased self-confidence: authenticity fosters self-assurance and resilience. It strengthens your belief in yourself and your abilities.
• Inner peace: when you're not striving to appear different from who you are, you achieve priceless inner peace and harmony.

Conclusion

Living authentically requires courage, persistence, and hard work but the rewards are worth the challenge. Start the journey of authentic living not just for personal fulfilment but also for the inspiration it can offer to those around you.

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